


Hear Me

by armani (norseblue)



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-01-27
Updated: 2001-01-27
Packaged: 2018-02-19 20:50:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2402429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/norseblue/pseuds/armani





	Hear Me

The sight was as strikingly beautiful as it was horrific. He was upright, his legs crossed at the ankle. His arms were raised to either side, and his head hung down, lolling ever so slightly to the right. His eyes were closed, and his face was slack.

He looked absolutely lovely.

The exquisiteness of his pose was marred only by the large wreath of thorny branches that encircled his skull. Streams of crimson had dripped down his face, onto his shoulders and neck, and had eventually trickled down his nude form and dried just above his groin.

He hung from a wooden T, suspended by three large stakes, one driven through each of his wrists and a third through his feet.

He was a life-size recreation of the tattoo on his left arm.

* * *

Tobias lay shivering in the prison's hospital. The sedative Dr. Nathan had given him had been strong, but he was awake now. He hadn't regained the use of his limbs yet, and from the way his head was hurting he thought he might have a large lump on his forehead, but his mind was functioning, though somewhat sluggishly.

He tried to recall how he had come to be here but found there were large gaps in his memory. He remembered walking into the gym this morning, hoping to find Chris, who had been suspiciously absent at breakfast. He remembered passing out and then awakening some time later. Said had been leaning over him, cradling Tobias's head in his hands and calling for help. Tobias had lashed out without thinking, but Said had simply pinned him to the blue mat spread out beneath them. Then Said was knocked out of the way by a dark-gloved hand, and a large, black club came towards Toby's head.

When he next awoke, Tobias was splayed across a gurney. He had looked to his side and caught sight of a familiar-looking figure covered in blood, but before he could make out who it was, Dr. Nathan gave him an injection, and with the rush of fluid into Toby's veins came oblivion.

Then he had awoken as he was now, curled up on a bed in the large ward used for prisoners who had to remain in the infirmary overnight. Toby tried to call out to the doctor but only managed a strangled grunt. It had the same effect, though, and Dr. Nathan came running from her office. She quickly took his pulse and checked his pupils before asking how he was feeling.

After coughing for a few moments, Toby was able to choke out, "Thirsty." He tried to say something more, but just getting that one word out was like swallowing a box thumbtacks with a Tabasco chaser.

Toby saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and a moment later Sister Peter Marie was standing at his shoulder, a small cup of water in her hand. Dr. Nathan helped lift him into a more seated position, and Sister Pete pressed the cup to his lips, softly murmuring, "Here, Tobias. Drink."

As he tried to swallow the entire cup in one gulp, Dr. Nathan warned, "Slowly, Tobias," but he didn't pay her any attention. Sister Pete had to bring him another three cups before he could speak, but he was becoming more lucid and began to wonder what Sister Pete was doing there so late.

When Dr. Nathan was satisfied that Toby was stable, for the moment at least, she excused herself and left the two of them alone, though she stayed close enough that if Toby's condition worsened, she could reach him quickly.

Toby was finding this all very odd and looked at Sister Peter Marie questioningly. "How are you feeling Tobias?" she asked, taking his hand into hers.

"My head hurts like hell, and I have no idea how I got here," he said weakly.

"Do you remember anything at all?" she asked, giving his hand an encouraging squeeze.

Toby's eyes unfocused briefly, as if he was looking at something that wasn't actually there. "I remember getting up this morning and going to breakfast," he began uncertainly, "and I remember going to the gym. Everything after that's pretty fuzzy," he finished, shrugging.

"Tobias, what were you doing in the gym? That's not your scheduled Rec time."

"Yeah, I know. Um, I remember I saw Chris in his pod right after I woke up, but he never came to breakfast. I thought maybe he'd gone to the gym to workout or something. I went there to find him," he explained slowly.

Sister Pete placed her other hand over the one she already held and gently rubbed his fingers reassuringly. "What else do you remember, Tobias?"

He furrowed his brow, trying to connect all the impressions he had in his mind to actual events. "The last thing I remember with any clarity is heading for the gym. I remember waking up on the gym floor and trying to fight off Said. I think a hack knocked me out, and I woke up again in the infirmary, but as soon as she saw me, Dr. Nathan put me back out. Then I woke up here."

"That's all you remember?"

"Yeah, that's it," he confirmed. "Why? Did something happen I should remember?" he asked with a smile.

"Tobias," Sister Pete began soberly, and Toby's look of bemusement changed to cautious fear.

"What's happened? Holly?" Tobias was quickly growing more agitated, and Dr. Nathan was taking more of an interest in their conversation.

"No, nothing's happened to Holly. She's just fine."

"Then what? What is it?"

"Tobias," she began again.

"Sister Pete, just tell me," he almost yelled at her. Gloria started edging towards the two of them, and the hack at the door rested his hand on his club.

"It's Chris, Tobias. Something's happened to him."

"What? Is he okay?" he asked, truly frantic for the first time.

"No, Tobias, he isn't. His neck was broken. You found him in the gym." She didn't give him any of the details as to what condition he was in when Tobias found him, but it was enough. All the color drained out of his face, and he stared at her in shock, frozen completely. He tried to make his mouth work, but when that failed he just tried to make any noise at all. Dr. Nathan took a step towards the two of them, and as if her movement had shattered the tableau, Toby began to wail, and he didn't stop until Dr. Nathan had given him two injections and he finally passed out in exhaustion.

* * *

It had only been two days since Toby had learned of Chris's death, but he had aged at least ten years. He was now sitting in a leather chair that failed only slightly at being hideously uncomfortable. Sister Pete was leaning forward in an identical chair next to his own, and McManus and Glynn were both leaning against Glynn's desk.

The three of them had been waiting for almost a minute, and Toby had yet to respond. Leo opened his mouth as if to prompt the silent man before him, but a look from Pete silenced anything he could have said.

Tobias took a deep breath and finally spoke. "He was crucified," he stated slowly, as if those words in that order didn't quite make sense.

"Yes, Tobias. He was," Sister Pete confirmed quietly. Glynn and McManus had decided before Toby arrived that Sister Pete should do most of the talking.

"And the bloody man I remembered seeing before Dr. Nathan sedated me" he trailed off, raising his head to look at the nun.

"Was Chris, yes."

Toby just nodded slowly and lowered his head again. Then as if a decision had been reached, he raised his eyes. "Who?" he asked calmly.

Sister Pete turned her head to look at Warden Glynn, and he took that as a sign that she wanted him to field this one. "We're investigating, but we're not sure yet," he said almost apologetically.

"I am," Tobias stated bluntly, his voice hardening.

"Tobias." He looked up at McManus in surprise, almost as if he had forgotten the man was standing there. "We found a note."

This was a wrinkle Toby hadn't expected, and he sat blinking at Tim. "What?"

"We found a note," he repeated. "Someone had put it inside Keller's mouth."

Toby just continued to stare at McManus before finally asking to see it. Tim turned his gaze to Leo, who walked behind his desk. He opened a drawer, removed a small plastic bag, and placed it in front of Tobias. Inside was a small piece of parchment, maybe three inches square. It had two large creases and the ink had run, as if the note had been soaked in water. In the very center of the paper were two words: "For Hank."

Two officers had to escort Toby to Sister Peter Marie's office.

* * *

At Pete's insistence, the two hacks had reluctantly stepped outside, but they had remained on the other side of the door and were watching through the glass window. She sat behind her desk and motioned Toby to a chair, but he continued to pace the short length of her office.

"He didn't do it," Toby finally stated, stopping in his pacing to look squarely at Sister Peter Marie.

"Didn't do what Tobias?" she asked calmly, keeping the relief from showing in her face when Toby finally sat down.

"He didn't kill Hank Schillinger." Sister Pete only continued to look at Tobias, and he finally continued, "I did."

"I had gathered as much," she said quietly.

"Schillinger had my two children kidnapped and my son killed. So I had his son murdered," he explained evenly, though the pain and remorse were evident in his eyes.

"And you believe Vern Schillinger killed Chris in retaliation, to get back at you," Sister Pete prompted after a moment.

"No."

Pete shook her head. "I don't understa--"

"He killed Chris because he thought Chris had murdered Hank," Toby spit out, as if the sentence left a bad taste in his mouth.

"But why would he think that, Tobias?" She had already guessed the answer, but she wanted to hear it from Toby.

His eyes became unfocused, and his voice dropped to barely a whisper. "Because Chris said he had."

"Why would he lie? Surely he knew the consequences."

"To save me. He confessed to save me."

* * *

Beecher looked at the small calendar he kept on the corner of his desk. Today was his anniversary, exactly a year since he'd been paroled.

His life was going really well, considering. He had full custody of his daughter, though it had taken him six months to convince a judge he was a fit parent. Nevertheless, he now spent every free moment with his Holly. He'd also gotten a position at a local college, teaching Criminal Law, of all things. He was considered an eccentric among the other professors, but his students seemed to like him. Toby attributed his popularity with the students to the fact that he was an ex-con and something of an oddity, but whatever the cause, Professor Beecher's class was always full. Toby was actually happy.

The phone suddenly rang, startling him out of his reverie. Toby picked up the receiver and pressed it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Tobias!"

A large grin spread across Toby's face. He hadn't expected to hear from her until they met for their weekly lunch tomorrow. "Sister Pete! It's so good to hear from you!" He wished she were there so he could give her a hug.

The two chatted for a few minutes, but when the conversation began to lull, Sister Pete decided she needed to go ahead and tell him.

"Tobias," she began, clearing her throat. "Vern Schillinger is dead."

Toby felt as if someone had hit him with a mallet. A very large mallet. "Wh-when?" he finally managed to stammer out.

"Last night at dinner. The Homeboys and the Aryans began fighting, and Schillinger was stabbed in the back," Pete explained.

//Well, that's appropriate,// he thought to himself.

"Tobias, are you alright?" she asked worriedly.

He started, having forgotten she was still on the line. "Sorry, it's just a bit of a shock."

"I understand," she said soothingly. "Would you like to talk?"

"Uh, not right now, if you don't mind. I, um, I need some time to think," he answered. //Boy, do I ever.//

Sister Pete wasn't convinced. "You sure, Tobias? You don't sound well."

"I'm sure, I just need some time alone. We'll talk tomorrow at lunch. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself until then," he said, smiling.

"Well, if you're sure"

"I am. I'll see you tomorrow." They exchanged their good-byes, and he placed the phone on its cradle.

Toby finally stood, heaving a large sigh; he turned and walked the few steps from his study to his bedroom, and sat on the edge of his bed. Toby stared at his lap for a few moments, but inevitably he raised his eyes to the sketch on the wall.

The picture was of a man being crucified, and it was identical to the tattoo Chris once bore. Toby was a primitive artist, but that image had been burned into his brain almost from the moment he had met Chris. Chris had never had any idea that the insomnia Toby had professed was actually an excuse to remain awake; night was the only time Keller was ever still enough for Toby to draw Chris's tattoo.

Toby smiled and felt as if his lover was in the room next to him.

//Can you hear me Chris? I hope so. If not, it's pretty foolish of me to spend so much time talking to a drawing.//

//Did you know Vern Schillinger's dead? It's finally all over.//

//I've been thinking about you, us, a lot lately. Chris, I know you always thought God had forgotten you, that you couldn't gain absolution. But I think you were wrong. I think you did. I think you redeemed yourself, and I think I gained redemption through you. After all the bullshit's wiped away, I loved you. I still do. And you love me.//

//You gave your life for me. For me and for Holly.//

//You know, she has an imaginary friend now. His name's Christopher. She says he protects her.//

//Chris, I hope you can hear me. I love you.//

**I love you, too, Toby.**


End file.
